Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in yacobalpha's LiveJournal:

Saturday, August 13th, 2005
3:02 pm	A Bit Of Ranting...Mabye it will help mabye I was wrong mabye I was not mabye I decided That you were all I got mabye I feared that you were the only one I feared that you were the only one love does strange things I thought I had it It gave me wings But you clipped them I sank into myself I fell and fell until I realized that you were my only hell it wasnt your fault at all it was my optimism I blamed you instead of my self criticism now I cant talk to you even though you avoid talking to me and I have to accept that things are through even though half of me doesen't wish them to be You were the first And you're not the last From this moment on You're my past (Comment on this)
2:18 pm	A Trip To Canada I realized that I had not really learned inner game. I thought I had, because I watched DYD Advanced, but then I also realized that people were telling me that I was asking a lot of questions about inner game. So, when I was out canoeing in Canada, I spent a good deal of time trying to realize what inner game was. I began to realize once more that I can approach anybody, becuase I do not lack the confidence. I only thought I lacked the confidence, because I was too concerned about making a frame to open with. I decided to make up my own openers according to the situation, and just to try and open with whatever, to show myself it was not too difficult. I was in a store in canada and I started talking to the clerk, who seemed to be a little older than me. I was talking to her for about 5 minutes and it seemed to show me that its not that difficult to talk as an opener. Because of the fact that I am not really someone who is instantly reciognizable , I have to learn that its essential to be able to open up a conversation. I've learned that a good personality is a good way to break the ice. This means that I can basically do very well in a convo if I plan my own moves and do my own openers and closers. I figure that If I make a list of openers, like dave d said, than I can just pick and choose which one for which scenario. 1. Hi, i'm an underwear model, I have to pick a pair of pants for a photo shoot. Do these make my butt look fat? 2. Hi, you've been staring at me for the last (# of minutes). Why don't you introduce yourself? 3. I like your shoes. How did the elves feel when you stole them? 4. XYZ! 5. Hey guys...I'm looking for a quick female opinion...I don't see any adams apples on you, so you can answer...Pirates or ninjas? (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 4th, 2005
8:54 pm	Another Lesson Learned Well, on the road to PUA, there are many things along the way. One of the things that I need to learn, is how to look everyone I see in the eyes. I managed to avert my gazes a few times today, which was not a good thing at all. Heres my new list of objectives. 1. Start a conversation with anyone that I sit near thats a hb. 2. Keep with self assurances of inner game. Its there, but needs to be refined into gold. 3. Disconnect from emo-ridden girls (aka chadamirs girls) (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 31st, 2005
7:36 pm	Next Step In PUA I have found a few other important points in PUA. First of all, from now on, all my thoughts will be positive. So, I have a few questions that I need to ask myself, before I continue. 1. What is my goal as a PUA? My goal as a PUA, is to be comfortable talking to girls (and later women) in everyday life and everyday situations. I want to have two or three ongoing relationships at a time with girls that respect me and basically hang onto every word. In the relationships, I want to respect the girls that I date, and vice versa. 2. How am i going to get this way? I will get this way by learning from various information sources about dating, believeing in my self and having self confidence. I will also learn to control my feelings for women, my temper, and the tone of my voice. I will act like a guy who can satisfy any girl in a relationship. 3. What would a guy who can satisfy any girl in a relationship do and look like? A guy who can satisfy any girl in a relationship would do several things. First of all, he would do everything a little bit slowly, because other people wait for him. Second of all, he would strut around with his chest out, and a small but confident grin on his face. He would wear stylist clothing, although the formality would change with different people and different events. He would be comfortable talking to any girl, and make them feel comfortable as well. He would not tolerate any games from girls, in fact he would laugh at any games that they played with him. He would hand out his phone number, because he could not be bothered with calling girls himself. At special anniverseries, he would give a small but thoughtful gift that shows that money is not something to buy love with. Girls tell their friends about this guy, and he is well respected by both guys and girls for his many talents. 4. How Am I A Guy That Can Satisfy Any Girl In A Relationship? I am a very unique person. I am very abstract, so I do not think the same way that others think, and I go into issues more deeply that most people delve. I am interested in many types of music, and I can talk about them at length. I am a good looking guy, and have a good physique for a person of my age. I enjoy art, especially pop art, and like to visit art galaries, something which I do with my family. As a family, mine compliments my uniqueness with their own style of whitty humor and loving life. My friends, although not all are considered mainstream, are generally nice and pleasant people who all enjoy a laugh, and who I enjoy spending time with. 5. How Would I Do A Pickup? As I have decided that my style is a gentleman, I would do my pickup as so. (I would be walking down the streets of malvern, and my eye catches a pretty girl walking in my direction. I have eye contact with her, and I smile, as she smiles back. I say "hi" when she is within about 5 feet of me) (In a calm and laid back manner, I rest my thumbs in my pockets and start talking to her) :Hi, I have to go in about 5 minutes...but could you give me a quick female opinion? She: Ok Me: My best friend had been trying with about three girls, to try and get himself into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. He had been having a whole lot of trouble with it though, recently. Should he take a break with dating, or stay in there for a little bit longer and see how it rides out? She: He should: Ride it Out/Get Out(In a longer way of saying it)aww, is this you? Me: Well...no...actually, my problem is that my personality comes into conflict some times with girls. She: How? Me: Well, when I'm in a relationship, I expect it to be affectionate and physical, and I expect the girl to call me. She: Thats refreshing to hear. A lot of guys try to hide their objectives. Me: (I look at my watch for about 5 seconds slowly) Well, I have to go, you're so classy, how about I give you my phone number and you give me a call? If it doesn't work, we can still be friends. She: Ok (I hand her my phone number) (Comment on this)
7:03 pm	First Post On The Road To Pua well, I was really POed that I emailed my ex, and got no responce, save a chain mail. I do believe that nobody gets a fucking right to send me a fucking chain mail instead of a reply. I'm getting tired of this. For two whole fucking months, I didn't give a shit about her (after a few more on and off periods), but now I do care, and its not right. I simply cannot go out and meet girls, because my fucking parents are too lazy to drive me anywhere and they complain about it all the time. Yet, I've been studying up on how to be a pua, so I can go out there and meet girls. I guess I have what is called a major scarcity complex, in which I concentrate too much on a few girls, instead of having a lot of girls to choose. I made the mistake of iming girls that I didn't really know all that well, mainly because I wanted some female contact. I got all hung up about one girl that I met online and was going to talk to, although she was never on. To become a pua, I need to dissasociate with these kinds of things. I need to be the guy that gets imed from girls or gets called. Basically, I have improved my inner game so that I feel better about who I am as a person, although I fear that my self-confidence can be easily shattered by such a thing as not recieving an email or being called annoying. Memo to me...fix my self confidence. On the positive side, I've met a lot of guys that help me with what to dos in the world of PUAing. But, the thing that frustrates me the most, is that my AFC friend has gone out with more people than I have. I don't want to, in fact I cannot be sucked into his principles of dating, because they shouldn't work. Its not fair, I know, but I just need, need to get out there and meet girls and be able to talk to girls in a way that I seem cool, confident and in control of myself. I think the most important thing to do is to hang with some girls that are friends of mine (do I have any real ones that arent online? no) Thats why I write so fucking much here, I have hardly anything else to do in the summer. I have hardly a job (because my parents are so anal about scheduling), I hardly see my friends (although I'm now insanely annoyed by many of them), I have not sarged in a few months, in fact I have not talked to a hb in a non-formal context in a few months. The good thing is that I'm going to go back to school in about a month, or a smidgen less. Ok, heres my game plan. 1. Keep reading about being a pua 2. Practice confident BL 3. Still Game HBs online 4. Practice Doing Everything slower 5. Practice Smiling Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)